I entered my room and slammed the door behind me. I had a rough day at school. I thought I fit in, but apparently not. I thought I looked pretty, but I guess I’m not good enough for everyone else. What does it matter anyway? I’m just the girl who sits in the back of the classroom, alone. Nobody pays any attention to me, so why should I even bother trying to prove myself good enough for those kids? If they don’t like me as I am, then I shouldn’t have anything to do with them. Yet, my heart longs to.
I walk over to the full-length mirror hung on the wall. I see a girl. A girl of the age fourteen, her auburn hair in a messy bun, her sea green eyes on the verge of tears. I know she’s asked God so many times in her life why can’t she be excepted? Must she put on a mask and be someone nothing like herself to fit in? To be excepted by her peers? Or was fitting in or being excepted by the world around her even that important? No. She knew it wasn’t.
That girl in the mirror, that girl is who I am. That’s my reflection. When will my reflection show who I am inside? It doesn’t matter about the outside. I guess I try too hard to be different, to be nothing like my normal self. I try so hard to be like other people in my society I am ignoring who God is calling me to be. He wants me to be who he intended me to be. He wants me to be myself. No matter how hard I try I’ll never be able to be somebody else. I can put on all of the makeup, I can dress the way they dress, I can talk and act like them, but I could never be someone other then me. Myself. I need to be who God has called me to be.
I need to put aside all thoughts I ever had of how to fit in, or how I can be excepted. For I already am, by God. By my creator and my Savior. The one who made the stars. The one who already has my life planned out. The one who guides my every step. Now, it’s my choice as to whether or not I am going to listen and except his guidance and instruction. I say yes. Yes, I’ll listen to You, God.
I don’t need the world and the things and the people in it to make me feel happy, or excepted. I need you, God. For you love me just as I am. I don’t need to be like anyone else but me. That girl in the mirror, she’s just my reflection. Not who I am inside.
I wrote this a little while ago. It kind of reflects on the post I did a little bit ago, Verse of the Week, 1/3/17. It was on the verse Proverbs 31:30. I feel that in this day and age, in society so many girls (and guys alike) feel the need to have to fit in. As long as they’re looking cool and hanging with the “in” crowd it’s all good. But no, it’s not. Who cares about fitting in or being excepted by the people around us, when we’re already excepted by God? As the quote goes, “I would rather stand with God and be judged by the world, then stand with the world and be judged by God”(Unknown). Like I’ve said before, it’s all about the heart. Make sure you’re right with God before anything else. He’s the real judge.