Friendship, Guest Post, Relationships

Repairing a Relationship

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Broken relationships are as old as the Bible. In Psalm 55:12-14, David describes his pain because of a friend’s betrayal,

“For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng.”

Because we invest love and time into our relationships, a part of us is destroyed when a relationship is damaged. Thankfully, there are practical steps available to handle a broken relationship. Here are four that I have applied in my life.

1) Meet in person

Technological communication can cause us to forget the real person with vulnerable emotions on the other side of the text or email. When a friendship is waning, arrange a time to see each other. If meeting in person is not an option, then try a phone or Facetime call. Talking directly forces you to engage with each other, which is often lacking from text or email. Establishing personal, direct communication can breathe life into a dying relationship.

2) Be honest

Dramatic confrontations are unnecessary, but we do need to be open about our feelings. Several months ago I mentioned to a friend that she was not responding to my texts. She explained that she had been extra distracted and busy lately, which eased my mind. In the past, I have overreacted to relationship problems, only to discover the facts later. My friends did not suddenly start hating me; they just had commitments that prevented them from contacting me. Being honest can save friendships and keep drama to a minimum.

3) Face your failings

Proverbs 28:13 says,

“He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

This is especially true with family relationships. We cannot undo our mistakes. However, we can show genuine remorse to the person we hurt and express a desire to change our behavior. After genuinely apologizing to the person we hurt, we should recognize the problem with our behavior and ask for their grace and support as we work to fix that character flaw.

4) Ban bitterness

It hurts when a friend stops communicating for no apparent reason, but jumping to conclusions only worsens the situation. We are not aware of their present situation. They could be dealing with something that has captured their attention. Even if they have chosen to move on, we must remain positive because bitterness only hurts us. Whether or not that relationship is ever restored, we can choose to highlight the positive memories and diminish the bad. Just like David in the Bible, we will face broken relationships. Tension is a part of living in a broken world. But God is the repairer of broken things. When we surrender our relationship to Him and prayerfully take steps to restore the relationship, we can trust that He will give us His wisdom.

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Friendship

Apologizing

apologizing

Apologizing.

That thing can be the hardest thing to do. EVER. Trust me, I know.

About five months ago, I got into a huge misunderstanding with my BFF.

I won’t go into details, but basically, for two months, I could not swallow my pride to apologize.

Me and my best friend avoided each other for TWO whole MONTHS. We were both miserable. Finally, one day, I swallowed my pride. I went up to her, and said, “I’m sorry.” Those two words fixed everything.

Sometimes it is so hard to swallow our pride and apologize.So here are a couple of tips to help you if you ever just can’t apologize.

Don’t wait. If you are waiting because you think it will be easier to apologize, it won’t. It will just get harder.

Pray. Pray to God to give you strength to apologize.

I know this was a very short post, but I have been super busy this past couple of weeks.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week, and that everything is going well for you.

In Christ,

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Friendship, Purifying the Mind, Body, and Spirit

Purifying the Mind, Body, and Spirit with our: Friendships

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Hello, girls!!

I have wanted to start a series of sorts for you girls on here for a while, but I couldn’t decide on the topic of the overall series. After some brainstorming and lots (I mean lots) of different (and cool) ideas, I decided on one that I felt like would be fun to talk about: Purifying the Mind, Body, and Spirit.

This series will be about how we can live a better life as we grow into womanhood. I will discuss how we can purify ourselves in all aspects of our daily lives in lots of different posts.

Today’s topic is Friendship.

How can we purify ourselves with our friendships, you ask?

Well, first off, I believe that we all need to set a couple of standards for people we are friends with. And I don’t mean all that “you have to do exactly what I say and do what I do” wishy-washy trash, I mean that, as Christians, we can’t go off befriending people who are bad examples for how we should behave as Christians. For example, here are my standards for friendship:

  • he/she DOES NOT use any foul language
  • he/she DOES NOT wear inappropriate clothing (at least in public)
  • he/she DOES NOT try to dishonor God in any way
  • he/she IS NOT a bully in any way or form to any person
  • he/she is able to treat me as a friend should be treated and vice-versa

So, those are my standards for the people whom I am friends with. I am not friends with anyone who does the opposite of anything on that list, and I do not intend to try to be friends with anyone who does the opposite of anything on that list.

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try to reach out to people who need the Lord  -because we should all do that – but I personally would not invite someone over to my house who swears, wears inappropriate clothing, and does not treat me (or someone else) nicely. Would you? Yeah…I didn’t think so.

But, we can’t just judge a person by their outside, right? We can’t just say “oh, that girl’s shorts are too short so I’m not gonna be friends with her”. Before becoming friends, I get to know the girl/boy a tad. Not, like, having him/her over to my house or hanging out “like friends do”.

I mean listening when he/she is talking (NOT eavesdropping) so that I know what he/she talks about. Sometimes (it depends on the person) I even ask a good, Christian friend who knows him/her and can tell me what he/she is like.

We all need to set standards for our friendships. It may seem like you are limiting your options for friends, but believe me, you will end up having a few very valuable friends rather than a bunch of bad influences that we call “friends”.

Make the right choices and you will have best friends who will be by your side for the rest of your life. 🙂

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