My Testimony – by Anika Joy

Good day, peoples! After reading K.A.’s testimony, I suddenly realized that I’d never shared my testimony with anyone. I had a sudden need to tell someone, an urge to get it out, I guess. My parents hardly know, even. I’m surprised because I can be a blabbermouth, too. ūüėČ

I grew up in a Christian home going through great struggles. We’ve never been financially rich, and things were going on that made me want to put my faith in Jesus Christ even more. But, somehow, I couldn’t.

I lied to my parents a lot back then. I was scared to die. I liked things to be my way or no way at all. I was a real train-wreck.

I thought I was a Christian, but I wasn’t really. I would go to my friends and say proudly, “I’m a Christian”, but the next day would go off and tell God that I hated Him for every bad thing in my life. I didn’t know what being a Christian meant. I didn’t know that I had to give up my dirty ways and sinful life to be a¬†real¬†Christian.

One day when I was nine, I knelt down at the side of my bed and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I had Him in there then – well, I thought I did. Even after I had asked Him in, I didn’t accept Him. I continued to lie, and sneak, and not let Him be the Light in my heart instead of having a dark cage around it. I didn’t know.

And then, I found out – I found out what it¬†truly¬†meant to be a Christian. I wanted¬†to be a Christian, but I didn’t think I was ready. I didn’t feel like it was my time…yet.

Fast-forward to three years later РNovember 2016, only days after my twelfth birthday, I was having the WORST DAY EVER. Everyone was cranky, and I was feeling like punching someone Рpreferably my dad because I was steaming mad like crazy at him. I was really angry.

After being sent to bed early, I sobbed until I had a headache (I was VERY emotionally unstable only two months¬†ago) and started to hate God like I usually did when things weren’t going well. Then, Dad came in to pray with us and turn out the lights like he usually does if he isn’t working.

Well, he was in there longer than usual that night, as he had asked Karissa, my sister, something about Christianity – I can’t remember exactly what. Then, they had this whole talk about what Christianity was, while I was in my bed with the covers over my head.

My sister accepted Jesus into her heart that night, and after Dad had left and the lights were off, I thought long and hard about what he had said to Karissa. Then, I cried some more – not because I was angry and hated God, but because I was angry and didn’t want to hate God. So, I prayed, and I decided that I would really try to be a good Christian and change my ways.

I prayed and asked him into my heart – for real that time – and suddenly, I wasn’t angry anymore. I wasn’t angry at God¬†or my dad. I was peaceful. It was such an amazing feeling to be peaceful. I’m not afraid to die anymore, I don’t lie, or sneak – I try to be a better Christian every day, now. And I’m so glad.

anika

I’m Ready To Fight

Hello, ladies.

It’s late. I’m tired. But at the same time, I’m the most awake I’ve ever been.

It’s hard to explain. I don’t think I ever will be able to, anyway.

I’m supposed to be asleep. I’m supposed to be getting up at 5:30 tomorrow, and it’s 11:12 PM now.

I’m not even supposed to post today. Whoever is supposed to, my apoligies. But I needed to speak, and I couldn’t wait much longer.

I don’t want to go into much detail, but I’ll do my best to make some sense of this mess.

The Enemy has been at my throat, trying to pull me from Jesus Christ. And I know why.

There has been a fight, and there always will be. This whole time, I’ve been thinking that I wasn’t a Christian because I was so weak Satan could attack me.

But that’s just it.

The Enemy’s not attacking me because I’m weak. It’s because I’m strong. It’s because I can do great things. It’s because I’m not afraid to shout.

And you know what?

There’s a war amidst us. And I’m ready to fight.

I’m ready to win.

¬† And I’m not scared. I’m not sitting in the shadows, worrying about where I’m going.

Because now I know. I KNOW. I KNOW.

¬† God is in control, and He knows the way. I’m following Him. And HIM alone!

¬† I’m following Jesus. I have decided with my heart, with my mind, and with my soul. I know truth. I believe truth. And I will live the Truth.

  This is MY FIGHT. And God is behind me. God is infront of me. And the amazing thing is,

We’ve already won.

  When Jesus died on the cross for my sins, He sealed me. He finished it. He won the war, before my fight began.

the-girls-sign-offs-3

My Testimony – by K.A.

Hello! Today, I’m going to tell you my testimony. I haven’t ever shared this on a blog, and I don’t share it with others very often, but I’d like to share it with you all now.

When I was little, I believed that if you were young enough, you would go to heaven even if you weren’t a Christian. You know, when you didn’t know how to become one yet. When you didn’t understand it. Well, I remembered on my 8th (or somewhere around there) birthday, and I was SO scared. I didn’t want to be 8 yet. I had decided that was probably the age that if I died I wouldn’t go to heaven anymore, unless my salvation was true.

Of course, I know now that if I was old enough to understand that much, I was probably to that age already. Sure, I had prayed the prayer, but I didn’t feel like I was a Christian. After I was that old, I lived my life in constant fear. Every time I hollered for someone and they didn’t answer right away, I freaked out and thought “The rapture happened, the rapture happened! I’m here all alone!!!” I was always scared. I could never actually concentrate on anything, because I was so scared that the rapture would happen and because I wasn’t a true Christian that I would be left here all by myself. When I couldn’t find my sister where I had seen her last, I panicked. All the time I was scared.

I probably prayed “the prayer” a thousand times, just trying to get myself to think I was actually a Christian. I guess I thought I would KNOW when I was a Christian, and that in itself would be an immediate feeling or something. I asked my mom about it, and she showed me some verses about assurance of salvation. Over time, I realized that I wasn’t fearing over those things anymore, that I was no longer living my life in dread, fear, and anguish. I wasn’t constantly worried of those things, and after a while, I knew that if the rapture happened I was going to be right there with the rest of my family in heaven.

I used to be scared that I wouldn’t ever have assurance, that I would live the rest of my life hiding from the rapture instead of looking forward to it. Now, I can rest assured that I’m a Christian. I know that if someone were to ask me if I was, I would be able to truthfully say I KNOW where I’m going when I die, and I know it’s heaven! Now, I am willing to stand up for my faith. I’m not entirely sure what helped me gain assurance. I know it was God, but I think it was also the Bible, my mom, and time helped as well.

I hope you enjoyed this post. If you struggle with assurance of salvation, I hope this was a help to you!

k-a