Good day, peoples! After reading K.A.’s testimony, I suddenly realized that I’d never shared my testimony with anyone. I had a sudden need to tell someone, an urge to get it out, I guess. My parents hardly know, even. I’m surprised because I can be a blabbermouth, too. 😉
I grew up in a Christian home going through great struggles. We’ve never been financially rich, and things were going on that made me want to put my faith in Jesus Christ even more. But, somehow, I couldn’t.
I lied to my parents a lot back then. I was scared to die. I liked things to be my way or no way at all. I was a real train-wreck.
I thought I was a Christian, but I wasn’t really. I would go to my friends and say proudly, “I’m a Christian”, but the next day would go off and tell God that I hated Him for every bad thing in my life. I didn’t know what being a Christian meant. I didn’t know that I had to give up my dirty ways and sinful life to be a real Christian.
One day when I was nine, I knelt down at the side of my bed and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I had Him in there then – well, I thought I did. Even after I had asked Him in, I didn’t accept Him. I continued to lie, and sneak, and not let Him be the Light in my heart instead of having a dark cage around it. I didn’t know.
And then, I found out – I found out what it truly meant to be a Christian. I wanted to be a Christian, but I didn’t think I was ready. I didn’t feel like it was my time…yet.
Fast-forward to three years later – November 2016, only days after my twelfth birthday, I was having the WORST DAY EVER. Everyone was cranky, and I was feeling like punching someone – preferably my dad because I was steaming mad like crazy at him. I was really angry.
After being sent to bed early, I sobbed until I had a headache (I was VERY emotionally unstable only two months ago) and started to hate God like I usually did when things weren’t going well. Then, Dad came in to pray with us and turn out the lights like he usually does if he isn’t working.
Well, he was in there longer than usual that night, as he had asked Karissa, my sister, something about Christianity – I can’t remember exactly what. Then, they had this whole talk about what Christianity was, while I was in my bed with the covers over my head.
My sister accepted Jesus into her heart that night, and after Dad had left and the lights were off, I thought long and hard about what he had said to Karissa. Then, I cried some more – not because I was angry and hated God, but because I was angry and didn’t want to hate God. So, I prayed, and I decided that I would really try to be a good Christian and change my ways.
I prayed and asked him into my heart – for real that time – and suddenly, I wasn’t angry anymore. I wasn’t angry at God or my dad. I was peaceful. It was such an amazing feeling to be peaceful. I’m not afraid to die anymore, I don’t lie, or sneak – I try to be a better Christian every day, now. And I’m so glad.