Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness.

The very word sends shivers down my spine….

Maybe you’re an introvert and you crave to be alone… or maybe you’re an extrovert, and you crave people. Either way, I’m sure at some point in your life, you’ve experienced loneliness.

For me, hardly anything is worse than that black pit in your stomach accompanied by the raw voice in your mind telling you that no one is there for you and no one cares. I shudder when the thought of utter seclusion enters my head.

I want to know someone is there,

that someone cares.

Have you felt like that before?

Usually my actions involve crying in my room, listening to the radio, or writing in a notebook.

Usually it takes me a while to convince myself that there is still someone who always cares.

Because I forget that God always cares. No matter what happens, he will always look out for me and see that I don’t get myself lost. He finds me when I stray from him, and he loves me unconditionally all the time.

What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? Luke 15:4

God always comes after us and finds us when we stray from him.

So what really causes loneliness?
It comes from many different actions. Rejection, Disapproval, Anger, Anxiety… In my own experience (being a MAJOR extrovert), I VERY strongly dislike being alone… and when I’m around a large group of people, I tend to feel caged in and secluded. And it’s not the fact that I’m with people that makes me lonely, but that I don’t know the people around me.

If I’m around girls who know each other and have their own friend group, I tend to feel more alone than usual, because I don’t fit in… and I sometimes strive too much for their companionship when they don’t need/want me as a friend. No, it’s not easy being rejected or judged. It’s not easy to be alone. But as a Christian, I can know that I am NEVER alone! God says that he will NEVER leave me nor forsake me! And I truly believe that!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Sometimes I just want acceptance and love and approval… from people around me. But I have to remind myself that I don’t need all of that from people, because ultimately, God has already accepted, loved and approved me. And better than that, he tells me everyday in his Word! He tells me that he knows me before my parents even knew ABOUT me. And that he set me apart and made me different (sanctified) from the world before my parents had even seen me! He made me to tell the world about him and his love.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jer 1:5

I was talking to a guy in his twenties recently about trying to get approval from people. He told me that when he was younger, he was constantly trying to make everyone happy. His (very good) advice was – you can NOT ever make everyone happy. Make God happy, and please and take the advice of the ones in your life that TRULY care about you and TRULY want what’s best for you. Sometimes, that’s as good as you can do. If we try to seek acceptance from everyone in this crazy world, we will only exhaust ourselves and end up with a lot of pain.

The point is that loneliness is common and it is a problem… and not only can the four things I listed (Rejection, Disapproval, Anger, and Anxiety) be a cause of loneliness, but loneliness can also cause these things.

When I’m lonely, sometimes without meaning to, I shove people away. I decide to throw a pity party and ignore those around me. I snap at others from the hurt inside me, and I tend to worry more about my surroundings and become very self-conscious. I’m sure when we see people that are disapproving or angry, we don’t immediately think, “oh, they’re probably struggling with something and need a friend.” We probably don’t think about them needing just as much love as us! But it comes to a point where we can’t just let loneliness continue to hurt others. We can’t let the chain of hurt continue. We live in a broken world – and without some healing, it will stay broken. That’s why we need God SO much!

Satan uses loneliness to fill our mind with thoughts of fear, hurt and even self-harm.

DON’T let him succeed!

God loves you, and he is ALWAYS there for you!

He says:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

He has adopted you, chosen you, and loves you as His child!

So today, choose to accept that you are loved, cared for, and appreciated by God and others. And also choose to love, care for, and appreciate others around you. Please don’t ever let loneliness control you. Don’t get so focused on wanting a specific friend that you miss the girl who needs a friend like you. Please, don’t let Anger, Anxiety, Disapproval, or Rejection turn you into a hurt, broken, lonely person, and don’t let loneliness turn you into someone who rejects, gets angry, struggles with anxiety and disapproves of others.

Love, and be loved.

Don’t ever forget that God loves you as you are.

You are never alone…

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18

 

The Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness and Self-Control

Hey ladies! Today, we finish up the Fruits of the Spirit! I thought I’d put these two together in this last post because they do go together, if you think about it, especially in how we act towards others.

Definition:

(Gentleness): not severe, rough, or violent; mild; moderate

(Self-control): control or restraint of one’s feelings, actions, etc.

I think that these two fruits go together because if you have one, you generally also have (or should have) the other. For example, instead of being overcome with fury for someone who mistreats me, I need to control myself and my anger, and treat that person gently instead. Both of these fruits are extremely important for the Christian. We need to strive to be Christ-like, and Jesus tells us in the Bible to “turn the other cheek”. Jesus Himself behaved with gentleness and self-control towards the Pharisees and others who went out of their way to try to ensnare Him and get rid of Him. He even prayed for those who put Him to death on the cross! Here are two verses about gentleness and self-control, respectively:

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4

“A man without self–control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Proverbs 25:28

Without self-control, it’s really easy for other people to rile us up. We will constantly become prey to our emotions, and will eventually destroy ourselves by doing things that we bitterly regret later. The Bible tells us to have a spirit of gentleness about us. We need to show that gentleness to others, and not fly at them when they annoy us. We also need to speak kindly to others, as hard as that is in this day and age, since it seems that building ourselves up even at the expense of others is practiced by a lot of people. Remember also that being gentle does not mean that we as Christians need to let ourselves be trampled on by others! The Apostles spoke in defense of their faith, and they did so with truth, sincerity, and not at all in a harsh way.

I know that for me, all of this is pretty hard. It’s hard to turn the other cheek, and hard to speak kindly to people who aren’t always nice in return. But anything is possible through God, and He gives us strength to do His will.

So one way we can show gentleness and self-control is to perhaps take a deep breath before we answer back to someone who irritates us, and remember that they, just as we do, have a purpose that God has known from the beginning of time.

Have an awesome day! 😉

Live for Something Bigger {by Hosanna Emily}

Imagine our life on earth is this tiny wisp of breath.  It’s like the first rock in a driveway of millions of others.  And eternity is forever – a hurricane of wind, miles and miles long, endless amounts of gravel compared to our one, tiny piece.

I don’t want to waste my life.

This world is pulling me in a thousand different directions, and yet I stare at this screen and realize, wow.  All those things, they don’t even matter.

If our life on earth consists of an inch of distance, why would we live for it when eternity goes on for miles and miles and miles?  Why do we worry about so much when, in the end, it’s all going to be wasted?

In the spring, my family was able to be a part of a movie production by PureFlix.  We came for a day to be extras in the church scenes of Christmas Manger, a holiday movie.  Before we entered the scene and followed the director’s cues to act as a congregation, we got ready in the church basement.

I remember watching a woman put on her make-up as we waited.  Every time I looked at her, I found her face scrunched up as she stared into a little mirror trying to curl her eyelashes just the right way.  While the rest of us talked or read or waited, the lady worked on curling her lashes.  And then we were called to go on set.

This month, the final movie came out.  My family crowded the living room as we watched.  When the church scenes appeared, we paused the movie, enlarged the screen, pointed, laughed, exclaimed at the brief moments we saw one of us in the film.  Sometimes it was only for a half a second, and we were barely in the background of the main characters.  When our half-inch figure appeared, we pointed and laughed.

After the screen went black and we slipped into bed, I lay in the darkness and remembered.  When the camera barely saw the back of our heads for a half-second, the smallness of our roles settled in.  And I thought about the woman who worried about her eyelashes.  Was she even on screen?  Would anyone see her tiny, fuzzy face in the background and notice the elaborate work she did on her make-up?

But that could be us. Are we wasting our lives?

I just imagine getting to Heaven. All those books we read, movies we watched, words we said, facts we knew, do they matter? That time we spent before a mirror, scrolled through our phones, worked on our crafts, what worth do they have?

In the moment when we see Jesus, all that matters is where our heart is.  And yet our culture trains us to spend 12 years of life worrying about school and grades.  And then jobs come, relationships, worries.

When it comes down to it, are we wasting our life?

While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

The biggest accomplishments in life are nothing compared to the glory of Heaven.  So why do we worry so much about the here and now when eternity is at stake?

Why do we work for grades and promotions and money when people are living and dying without Christ?  Why do we write books and draw pictures and worry about our weight instead of seeking Jesus?

Everything we do can be a waste of time if we have the wrong heart.  And yet, everything we do can bring Jesus glory and honor if we do it because our heart is just full of a love for Him.

When we love Jesus, doing math is something to rejoice in.  Only then can we read and write and sing and dance for His glory.  If our eyes are on Jesus’ never-ending glory, those little scenes on a TV screen become something so much bigger.

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

 But what if we do all the right things, forgetting to do them with Jesus?

Dear friend, I don’t want you to waste your life.  I don’t want myself to.  But I’m so afraid that we’re living in this world and forgetting to see the eternal world beyond this one.

Friend, Jesus has something way bigger than the here and now.  Don’t worry about all those silly, earthly goals when eternity is waiting for us.  Don’t put on make-up and crimp your face when no one watching the movie is even going to see it.  There’s a time for that, but only if you’re doing it to love Jesus more.

You have one piece of gravel, but there’s an endless road stretching before you.  Eternity is forever.  Do we live like it?

There’s a much bigger calling for you.  Go seek it.

Lift up your eyes to the heavens,
And look on the earth beneath.
For the heavens will vanish away like smoke,
The earth will grow old like a garment,
And those who dwell in it will die in like manner;
But My salvation will be forever,
And My righteousness will not be abolished.

Isaiah 51:6 

Hosanna Emily is an ordinary girl following an extraordinary God. She’s a seeker of beauty in the midst of life, whether through creating emotion through ink on paper, dancing under the stars, using sign language in songs, or offering a hug.  As a writer, Hosanna wants to showcase the glory of God to the world while reaching out to love others. She published a novella at age thirteen and continues to write stories and share her heart on her blog, Having a Heart Like His.  She lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere with her family of 12.