The very word sends shivers down my spine….
Maybe you’re an introvert and you crave to be alone… or maybe you’re an extrovert, and you crave people. Either way, I’m sure at some point in your life, you’ve experienced loneliness.
For me, hardly anything is worse than that black pit in your stomach accompanied by the raw voice in your mind telling you that no one is there for you and no one cares. I shudder when the thought of utter seclusion enters my head.
I want to know someone is there,
that someone cares.
Have you felt like that before?
Usually my actions involve crying in my room, listening to the radio, or writing in a notebook.
Usually it takes me a while to convince myself that there is still someone who always cares.
Because I forget that God always cares. No matter what happens, he will always look out for me and see that I don’t get myself lost. He finds me when I stray from him, and he loves me unconditionally all the time.
What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? Luke 15:4
God always comes after us and finds us when we stray from him.
So what really causes loneliness?
It comes from many different actions. Rejection, Disapproval, Anger, Anxiety… In my own experience (being a MAJOR extrovert), I VERY strongly dislike being alone… and when I’m around a large group of people, I tend to feel caged in and secluded. And it’s not the fact that I’m with people that makes me lonely, but that I don’t know the people around me.
If I’m around girls who know each other and have their own friend group, I tend to feel more alone than usual, because I don’t fit in… and I sometimes strive too much for their companionship when they don’t need/want me as a friend. No, it’s not easy being rejected or judged. It’s not easy to be alone. But as a Christian, I can know that I am NEVER alone! God says that he will NEVER leave me nor forsake me! And I truly believe that!
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Sometimes I just want acceptance and love and approval… from people around me. But I have to remind myself that I don’t need all of that from people, because ultimately, God has already accepted, loved and approved me. And better than that, he tells me everyday in his Word! He tells me that he knows me before my parents even knew ABOUT me. And that he set me apart and made me different (sanctified) from the world before my parents had even seen me! He made me to tell the world about him and his love.
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jer 1:5
I was talking to a guy in his twenties recently about trying to get approval from people. He told me that when he was younger, he was constantly trying to make everyone happy. His (very good) advice was – you can NOT ever make everyone happy. Make God happy, and please and take the advice of the ones in your life that TRULY care about you and TRULY want what’s best for you. Sometimes, that’s as good as you can do. If we try to seek acceptance from everyone in this crazy world, we will only exhaust ourselves and end up with a lot of pain.
The point is that loneliness is common and it is a problem… and not only can the four things I listed (Rejection, Disapproval, Anger, and Anxiety) be a cause of loneliness, but loneliness can also cause these things.
When I’m lonely, sometimes without meaning to, I shove people away. I decide to throw a pity party and ignore those around me. I snap at others from the hurt inside me, and I tend to worry more about my surroundings and become very self-conscious. I’m sure when we see people that are disapproving or angry, we don’t immediately think, “oh, they’re probably struggling with something and need a friend.” We probably don’t think about them needing just as much love as us! But it comes to a point where we can’t just let loneliness continue to hurt others. We can’t let the chain of hurt continue. We live in a broken world – and without some healing, it will stay broken. That’s why we need God SO much!
Satan uses loneliness to fill our mind with thoughts of fear, hurt and even self-harm.
DON’T let him succeed!
God loves you, and he is ALWAYS there for you!
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
He has adopted you, chosen you, and loves you as His child!
So today, choose to accept that you are loved, cared for, and appreciated by God and others. And also choose to love, care for, and appreciate others around you. Please don’t ever let loneliness control you. Don’t get so focused on wanting a specific friend that you miss the girl who needs a friend like you. Please, don’t let Anger, Anxiety, Disapproval, or Rejection turn you into a hurt, broken, lonely person, and don’t let loneliness turn you into someone who rejects, gets angry, struggles with anxiety and disapproves of others.
Love, and be loved.
Don’t ever forget that God loves you as you are.
You are never alone…
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18